"Dad, can you write in the dark?"
"I think so. What is it you want me to write?"
"Your name on this report card."
A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do."
The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ... by the way, what was it that you didn't do?"
The little girl replied, "My homework."
The child comes home from his first day at school.
Mother asks, "What did you learn today?"
The kid replies, "Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow."
Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' and I said '6'"
"But that's right!"
"Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the fucking difference?"
"That's exactly what I said!"
The teacher came up with a good problem. "Suppose," she asked the second-graders, "there were a dozen sheep and six of them jumped over a fence. How many would be left?"
"None," answered little Norman.
"None? Norman, you don't know your arithmetic."
"Teacher, you don't know your sheep. When one goes, they all go!"
Teacher: If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!
Teacher: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!
Teacher: Let's try this another way. If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got?
Paddy: Six.
Teacher: Good. Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!
Teacher: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?
Paddy: I've already got one rabbit at home now!
Teacher: Milton, how can you prove the earth is round?
Milton: I can't. Besides, I never said it was.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Monday, April 7, 2008
Voted Women's Favorite E-mail of the Year !
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed
home.
He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
"Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely
stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please
allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen.
God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.
The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman
He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their
school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to
school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners
and stopped at
the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put
away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the cheque book. He cleaned
the cat's litter box and bathed the dog. Then it was already 1 P.M. and he
hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop
the kitchen floor.
Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on
the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do
their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did
the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded
the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.
After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry,
bathed the kids, and put them to bed.
At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished,
he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get
through without complaint.
The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: Lord,
I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being
able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."
The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied: "My son, I feel you have learned
your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were.
You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."
Voted Women's Favorite E-mail of the Year !
if you agree, send it to all your friends who would enjoy this?
I just did !
Sunday, April 6, 2008
“Study skills are boring!” That is what most students tell me
Boring!? These are skills that can help them get better grades
and spend less time on homework how can they be boring?
Honestly, there is a good explanation for the bad rap that study
skills have developed over the years because a lot of boring
things are labeled as “study skills.” Learning how to use guide
words in a dictionary...a necessary skill, but boring! SQ3R a
reading strategy with many merits, but leaves me asking, “Who
wants to take the time to do all five steps?” Boring! Identifying
the main idea and supporting details on endless worksheets?
Another important skill, but still boring.
There is a broader and more important role study skills should be
playing in the lives of our middle and high school students,
especially in our current Information Age, when we must prepare
students for many careers and jobs that do not even exist yet.
Study skills are:
* The skills required to be an independent learner. * Skills
that build confidence. * Skills that develop efficiency. * Skills
that improve performance to prepare our students for high-stakes
tests and the globally competitive job market of the future. *
Skills that enable students to be proactive, make good decisions,
and think critically.
The LAST thing they should be is boring!
We were all born with a natural desire to learn. Infants,
toddlers, and pre-schoolers love to explore their world and take
pride in learning new things. Just yesterday, my four-year-old
was so excited about learning that he stood on top of his chair
and raised both arms in triumph exclaiming in a
‘na-na-na-na-na-na’ tone, “I learned a new wo-rd! I learned a new
wo-rd!” THAT was utter exhilaration over learning!
But, sometime in the elementary years, most students lose that
enthusiasm for learning, usually because they lose all of their
choices. Learning becomes dictated by their teachers, school
districts, and state-mandated curriculum. They are suddenly
swallowed into a bureaucracy of texts, tests, and lectures that
would bore any rational human being.
Much of these mandates and “lack of choices” are and will remain
out of students’ control, but there is a vital component we can
offer students to bring some pizzazz back to learning. Teach them
study skills principles and strategies to be organized and learn
efficiently. Show them they have the power to beat the system.
Well, maybe not beat the system, but at least work with the
system strategically to be successful. When strategic learning
enters the picture, students regain some control. They develop
personal power. And they learn important life-long skills that
will someday help them manage a home and career.
These may sound like lofty concepts, but they have real, concrete
implications. For example, as parents and educators:
* We can acknowledge that organizing papers and school-work is
difficult because traditional systems actually complicate the
process. We can then explore principles for organizing and
strategies to simplify the process. * We can acknowledge that
text-books are boring. But, if students understand how to
maximize their brain’s learning process, they can be strategic
readers and exponentially increase their reading comprehension
while only reading a fraction of the text. * When we want to say,
“Why can’t you plan ahead?!” we can pause and understand that
they have never really learned how to plan ahead. Armed with that
perspective, we can help them discover how to prioritize their
time and think proactively. There is a commercial that depicts
two professionals heading into their office building at the
beginning of the day. They are both neatly groomed and dressed
professionally. You can presume from their appearance and
surroundings that they are well-educated people. They are both
half-way up an escalator when the escalator suddenly stops.
They look shocked and bewildered. “I don’t need this!” complains
the woman. “Figures!” grumbles the man. They look around in panic
and start feeling around for their cell phones, but both discover
they have forgotten their phones at home.
As the commercial continues, these two “smart professionals”
remain stranded for what appears to be hours, yelling and
screaming for help and wallowing in their unfortunate sorrow that
they are stuck on an escalator. That’s right it’s an escalator,
NOT an elevator.
Are you wondering why they don’t just stand up and walk off?
That’s the point of the commercial...some solutions are so
blatantly obvious to some, but not to all. Students, in
particular, are commonly stuck on their own escalators, running
for help every time they get stuck and not employing any
strategies or critical thinking to move forward.
Arming students with study skills --skills for thinking
strategically about organizing, managing time, and learning--
gives them the power to simply stand up and walk off their own
escalator.
Taking control over their learning? Learning how to ‘play in the
system’ with strategy? There is nothing boring about that!
and spend less time on homework how can they be boring?
Honestly, there is a good explanation for the bad rap that study
skills have developed over the years because a lot of boring
things are labeled as “study skills.” Learning how to use guide
words in a dictionary...a necessary skill, but boring! SQ3R a
reading strategy with many merits, but leaves me asking, “Who
wants to take the time to do all five steps?” Boring! Identifying
the main idea and supporting details on endless worksheets?
Another important skill, but still boring.
There is a broader and more important role study skills should be
playing in the lives of our middle and high school students,
especially in our current Information Age, when we must prepare
students for many careers and jobs that do not even exist yet.
Study skills are:
* The skills required to be an independent learner. * Skills
that build confidence. * Skills that develop efficiency. * Skills
that improve performance to prepare our students for high-stakes
tests and the globally competitive job market of the future. *
Skills that enable students to be proactive, make good decisions,
and think critically.
The LAST thing they should be is boring!
We were all born with a natural desire to learn. Infants,
toddlers, and pre-schoolers love to explore their world and take
pride in learning new things. Just yesterday, my four-year-old
was so excited about learning that he stood on top of his chair
and raised both arms in triumph exclaiming in a
‘na-na-na-na-na-na’ tone, “I learned a new wo-rd! I learned a new
wo-rd!” THAT was utter exhilaration over learning!
But, sometime in the elementary years, most students lose that
enthusiasm for learning, usually because they lose all of their
choices. Learning becomes dictated by their teachers, school
districts, and state-mandated curriculum. They are suddenly
swallowed into a bureaucracy of texts, tests, and lectures that
would bore any rational human being.
Much of these mandates and “lack of choices” are and will remain
out of students’ control, but there is a vital component we can
offer students to bring some pizzazz back to learning. Teach them
study skills principles and strategies to be organized and learn
efficiently. Show them they have the power to beat the system.
Well, maybe not beat the system, but at least work with the
system strategically to be successful. When strategic learning
enters the picture, students regain some control. They develop
personal power. And they learn important life-long skills that
will someday help them manage a home and career.
These may sound like lofty concepts, but they have real, concrete
implications. For example, as parents and educators:
* We can acknowledge that organizing papers and school-work is
difficult because traditional systems actually complicate the
process. We can then explore principles for organizing and
strategies to simplify the process. * We can acknowledge that
text-books are boring. But, if students understand how to
maximize their brain’s learning process, they can be strategic
readers and exponentially increase their reading comprehension
while only reading a fraction of the text. * When we want to say,
“Why can’t you plan ahead?!” we can pause and understand that
they have never really learned how to plan ahead. Armed with that
perspective, we can help them discover how to prioritize their
time and think proactively. There is a commercial that depicts
two professionals heading into their office building at the
beginning of the day. They are both neatly groomed and dressed
professionally. You can presume from their appearance and
surroundings that they are well-educated people. They are both
half-way up an escalator when the escalator suddenly stops.
They look shocked and bewildered. “I don’t need this!” complains
the woman. “Figures!” grumbles the man. They look around in panic
and start feeling around for their cell phones, but both discover
they have forgotten their phones at home.
As the commercial continues, these two “smart professionals”
remain stranded for what appears to be hours, yelling and
screaming for help and wallowing in their unfortunate sorrow that
they are stuck on an escalator. That’s right it’s an escalator,
NOT an elevator.
Are you wondering why they don’t just stand up and walk off?
That’s the point of the commercial...some solutions are so
blatantly obvious to some, but not to all. Students, in
particular, are commonly stuck on their own escalators, running
for help every time they get stuck and not employing any
strategies or critical thinking to move forward.
Arming students with study skills --skills for thinking
strategically about organizing, managing time, and learning--
gives them the power to simply stand up and walk off their own
escalator.
Taking control over their learning? Learning how to ‘play in the
system’ with strategy? There is nothing boring about that!
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